A Modest Proposal

                                          by the Board of Directors of Albion United Association Football Club

following extensive consultation with club sponsors and the Supporters Trust

with a view to the re-establishment of this football club

among the foremost and progressive in the nation

in terms of  philosophy, performance and success.

That former glories and greatness might be restored,

it shall be the policy of this club

to assert the distinct identity of the Town and the football club,

reflecting past glory and future prospects

by the following means:-

[i]  the building of future squads on a firm foundation

of youths recruited from local schools,

the offering of four annual scholarships to these boys

and the guarantee of two places to such scholars for each senior game,

in successive seasons, until they comprise the whole team

[ii] the renewal [in the interim]  of contracts of English players only

and further signings from English clubs alone,

with favour shown to products of our neighbouring teams

(a) in the exceptional event of emergency arising

from injury, or unavailability of able personnel,

temporary recruits will be allowed from Scotland,

Wales, Northern Ireland,

the Orkneys and the Hebrides

and The Isle of Man,

(b) in further, unlikely, exceptional circumstances,

commonwealth citizens may be engaged

until suitable replacements can be found

[iii]  on completion of all existing contracts,

incumbent  coaching staff  shall be released,

regardless of existing options,

and replacements shall be found

among  alumni of players of this club

[iv]  by the fostering of a distinctive culture

in the service and behaviour of the supporters of the club

(a) under which sporting favours allowed at Home Park,

scarves, shirts, caps and sundry paraphernalia

shall be in the official  club colours of yellow and green;

and items bearing names and logos of clubs

such as Chelsea, Man United, Spurs or Liverpool

shall be forbidden

(b) by the appointment of a musical director, to be sought

from local chapels, schools or amateur operatic societies,

whose mission shall be to encourage composition

and performance of songs and anthems

centred solely on this club and Town

(c)  by prohibiting performance of ditties and chants

that refer to clubs elsewhere, and by banning, sine die,

those that give vent to, or encourage  recitation,

of such slogans and calls

(d) to underpin the essence of our identity

and to secure greater loyalty and support,

pre-match entertainment in our bars

will be recordings of our clubs great games

(e)  for the duration of existing contracts

with satellite sport providers

live broadcasts of said stations may be seen

in the Victory Bar only, where a surcharge  will apply

of £10 for adults and £15 for children under 14 years.

These policies to take effect on the first day

of the coming season and we hope to see

these objectives realised within two years.

The Directors

Albion United Association Football Club

sponsored by BritCom.

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